In walls of white, the colours scream

like bits of me I lost in dreams

I build a life from broken parts

with steadier hands and open hearts

The ones beside me know my pain

They’ve walked through the fire and felt the rain

in every fall, they help me stand

I rise again with a steady hand.

I held the line for twenty nine

A thread of light, a sober spine

I slipped but still, I won’t let go -

‘day one’ begins and still I grow

The shame still knocks but I don’t fold

My story’s more than what I’m told

I’m not the slip; I’m who gets up

Each day I fight to earn their trust.

Starting recovery, I wasn’t interested. I thought it was s**t and I knew I needed help, but I wasn’t ready to open up fully and reveal my insecurities. Asking for help was harder than receiving help, mostly because growing up in my family and society, mental health and showing feelings was a weakness.

From my experience, asking for help from a medical professional was my gateway into finding programmes to help me through the hardest points in my life.

Recovery to me is my lifeline. With it, my opportunities are endless. It brings clarity to me and helps me grow into a huge tree in a service Garden of Eden. Without it, my life is meaningless and not worth living on this earth.

We are not powerless, never have been, never will be.

I honestly wouldn't be here today without using that power, taking responsibility and standing up to the challenge.

Head on.

Easier said than done?

That’s what I thought, but that thinking has never got me anywhere.

Taking control and acting has led me to a change of heart, a change of mind and it has changed my life.

Changing our lives for the better is not only for yourself, but for those that love you, those that care and those we have lost.

We all have a choice.

Choose living without fear.

Choose waking up with clarity, this day is yours and you can make tiny changes to Earth.

Choose caring for yourself and others, you can make a difference.

Choose using your power

It’s yours, nobody else’s…

So why not choose decision, one that benefits the person;

Choose recovery into discovery

Choose hope

Be good to yourself, wherever you are in life and be kind

Go for it, it’s worth it, I promise.

Keep the faith.

A reflection on addiction.

How did we not see you disappear, as you slipped into those dark, dangerous waters.

You left behind your shadow on the shore - a shape of what you were, what you could be, if only you could stand in the sun once more.

We didn’t see you walking until it was too late. And then, you needed saving. But from what?

The drink?

The drugs?

The dark thoughts?

We let you sink,

unaware of the rocks in your pockets.

From time to time time, you resurfaced, dazed, spluttering,

muttering long-hidden truths

you felt to broken to share.

But still, we reached for you .

We wrapped you in love.

lifted your eyes to the sky.

Hoping.

Praying.

that this time you’d stay.

And for a moment, we saw you -

the you we remembered

the you we believed could return.

But just as we looked forward,

you slipped again,

silent.

Falling back in.

Come back.

Back to your shadow -

The shape of what you were.

What you still can be

To listen to an audio recording of this poem please click here.

It’s about what’s in the heart.

Belief in yourself and your future.

We can’t change the past, but we can show it what it’s been missing; You can forge your future, right now.

it doesn’t have to be one day at a time, don’t be afraid to look forward, to take the world on.

Facing fear is difficult, I know.

Good.

Seriously, it’s a good thing, because too long can be spent in fear and isolation.

Addiction is consuming, first yourself and then those around you, but with the

passion and empathy that I have seen so much on my journey, things do change for

the better.

Small victories and light bulb moments add up to the point where we don’t look back.

We can become the person that has been lost, hiding away, just waiting for us to say

enough is enough, I’m going to change.

Decision and action.

That’s recovery.